Liam Gallagher fighting in a club (with boots)
Drunk, belligerent rock stars always give good value for the entertainment dollar. That’s why the BlogCo Repertory Theatre is kicking off its ’09 season with a new play called “Liam Gallagher Fighting in a Club.” We haven’t actually written the play yet, but we have the title, and the rest should be easy. It’s just a matter of stitching together a few compelling, action-packed scenes (plus commercials and closing credits). That’s where you come in.
So, what kind of “action” would you, John and Jane Q. Theatergoer, expect to see in a play called “Liam Gallagher Fighting in a Club”? My writers are stumped. They’ve got nothing for me, and nothing isn’t enough. I mean, who wants to see a play in which nothing happens? Oh, look . . . the Samuel Beckett fans are raising their hands. Hmm, what if we change the title to “Waiting for Godot to Fight Liam Gallagher in a Club”? Where would that takes us?
Act I
While waiting for Godot to fight Liam Gallager in a club, Estragon (played by Gene Simmons) struggles to remove his boot. His friend Vladimir (played by James Blunt’s severed head) muses on Estragon’s struggle and says, “I brought my face to this crowded place, and I don’t know what to do, ’cause Estragon can’t remove his shoe until we reach Act Two.” [curtain falls]
[Intermission — Jack Daniels and cigarettes in lobby.]
Act II
Liam Gallagher’s brother Noel arrives just as Estragon removes his left boot. Noel asks if Liam has arrived yet, and Vladimir says, “We’re waiting for him to fight Godot in this bar. They are late.” It just so happens that Noel hates people who are late. He hates them nearly as much as he hates Green Day, goths, and Manchester United fans. Noel says, “Fuck all. Let’s go.”
Vladimir says, “We can’t go.”
Noel says, “Why not?”
Vladimir says, “Because we’re waiting for Godot to fight Liam Gallagher in this bar, and because the Fictional Characters Guild only allows us to talk about taking action.”
Noel says, “That’s bloody fucking Rubbish!” And then he breaks Vladimir’s nose with Estragon’s boot. [curtain falls]
Eh, on second thought, let’s not write a play. Let’s just wait here and see what happens.
February 12th, 2009 at 11:09 pm
Mr. Squirrel, you mentioned dollar and that made me think of penny and penny made me think of Abraham Lincoln and Abraham Lincoln made me think of birthdays and birthdays made me think of presents and presents made me think of special pennies and special pennies made me think of Abe Lincoln all over again and that reminded me of the new pennies that are placed into circulation today in honor of honest Abe’s 200 birthday celebration. Now I’m thinking that if John W. Booth hadn’t taken Abe Lincoln out he’d be 200 years old.
All this thinking is making me dizzy.
Yours truly,
S. Marm
p.s. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. a-hem. (hint, hint)
February 14th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Just to prove that I’m not cheap, I’ll get you TWO uncirculated pennies, Marm.
February 16th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
Oh thank you Mister Squirrel, you are the dearest of the dear.
S. Marm
February 16th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
You don’t know it Mister Squirrel, but your two cents has always meant the world to me.
Yours truly,
S. M.
April 11th, 2010 at 9:20 pm
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