Mastercuts, Part 135 — Celebrity Hair
I am waiting to be sheared at Mastercuts when a guy strolls in dressed like a medieval monk. He is holding a large photograph. The guy stops at the desk and says, “How much for a haircut, m’lady?”
Lady d’Mastercuts gives him the once-over and says, “$14.95, friar.”
“Is tonsure included in your price?” he asks.
The lady shrugs. “Whachoo mean by tonsure?”
The monk slaps the photograph down on Lady d’Mastercut’s table. He pokes it with a bony index finger. “I mean, how much will it cost to make me look like him?”
Across the room, I peer over the top of Popular Hairplugs magazine. My curiosity is piqued. Which celebrity hairstyle, I wonder, is currently in vogue with the medieval monastic crowd?
I move in for a closer look. At a display case near the desk, I pretend to examine a bottle of Bed Head Creative Genius Sculpting Liquid. The monk and his lady friend are bent over the celebrity-hairdo photograph. But it isn’t a photograph after all — it’s a page torn from an art history book. A painting fills the top two-thirds of the page, and a short descriptive passage follows. The subhead reads, “A Portrait of Thomas Aquinas.”
Painted Aquinas is holding a bible in one hand and a cathedral in the other. It’s an unbalanced load and he is listing badly to one side. The top of Tom’s head is shaved bare. A thin strip of hair, just above the ears, circles his bald crown like an English hedge.
“Ah, tonsure,” the lady says. “It’s just the Little-Boy cut with a big bald spot on top!”
“Indeed?” says the monk. “What price for the Little-Bald-Boy cut?”
“$14.95.”
“Can you do it?”
“With my eyes closed,” the lady says. She looks down at Thomas Aquinas and then up at the guy who thinks he’s a monk. “You know,” she says, “you really had me worried for a minute. Dudes usually bring pictures of George Clooney.”
May 15th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
That reminds me. I must make an appointment for a trim.
Johanna
May 15th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
I’m just trying to think of what would creep out stylists, and I figure the creepiest answer to “What do you want it to look like” would be have to be something along the lines of “You.”
Or maybe some combination/remix of the above story:
“George Clooney, but with tonsure.”
May 15th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Communicating with the stylist is always difficult for hair pioneers. But when their hard work is done, every man, woman and child will feel free to march into their local Marstercuts and request the “Clooney-monk.”
And then the early adopters will move on to the next new thing.
It is a natural cycle.
May 16th, 2008 at 3:35 am
[...] I am waiting to be sheared at Mastercuts when a guy strolls in dressed like a medieval monk. He is holding a large photograph. The guy stops at the desk and says, “How much for a haircut, m’lady?” Lady d’Mastercuts gives him the once-over and says, “$14.95, friar.” “Is tonsure included in your price … Source: Mastercuts, Part 135 — Celebrity Hair [...]
May 16th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Sire – methinks somebody doth plagiarize thou
May 23rd, 2008 at 12:49 pm
ladies… what not to buy for Father’s Day
http://briansworld.nova.org/pix/gnu1.jpg
May 25th, 2008 at 10:42 am
What is the Squirrel family doing to celebrate this Memorial Day weekend? My guess would be they’re roasting their nuts but I could be wrong. Who’s house are you visiting and what are you serving? Who’s doing the cooking and will sister Squirrel be baking one of her famous cakes?
May 27th, 2008 at 8:43 am
I went to visit Junior and family. Junior took me to see some loud rock ‘n roll music.
May 28th, 2008 at 10:26 am
Did you dance to the music?
May 28th, 2008 at 10:53 am
The National Dance Safety Association has placed severe restrictions on me. I am only allowed to dance while sitting.
May 28th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Just a reminder: today is national hamburger day. Do your duty!
May 28th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
Did you tap your sing-a-long, tap your toes, and/or sway to the music?
May 28th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
I have the image of a squirrel getting his groove on…its a cute image.
May 28th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Re: hamburgers. I did eat a hamburger on Sunday and then again on Monday. I’m kind of hamburgered out, but I believe I’ve paid homage to the hamburger anyway.
Good enough? Whaddaya think?
May 29th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Sire and I just kind of stood there and complained about our aching backs. We both drank lots (they were making Dark and Stormy’s) and I tried to agitate an escapee from Long Island by twisting his Yankees hat around – good times
June 2nd, 2008 at 8:29 am
If you twist a Yankee fan’s hat around, he will turn and walk in the opposite direction. It has been tested. The bill of the cap must act like a rudder.
June 2nd, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Well I for one am glad to know that Mister Squirrel was able to keep control of himself when enticed by seductive rock ‘n roll music. Oh, to think if he had begun dancing those evil women would have taken a gander at his cute knees and kidnappe him to only do what I just can’t even imagine.
I think it was a good thing you were there Mister Junior so to keep our Mister Squirrel safe from the wild women that would have been running their filthy fingers through his fine fur coat.
It was a good thing indeed.
Very sincerely,
S. Marm
June 2nd, 2008 at 11:19 pm
I’m getting warm. Where is that fan switch? Where is Rosalind? It has been a long while since we’ve heard from our little friend Rosalind. Surely something exciting must be happening in her life.
Rosalind, oh Rosalind, come on out and join the party dear.
S. Marm