Three examples separated by commas
Well hello everyone.
First, I would like to apologize for my recent lack of blog posting (unless this lack of posting was good thing, in which case I would like to apologize for this apology).
Somehow, over the course of time, I convinced myself that blog posts should be “interesting,” and that if they could not be “interesting,” they should not BE at all. Kay-rist, what was I thinking? Blogs are all about uninteresting posts. Blogs are places where our low expectations are NEVER exceeded, where unnecessary exposition ALWAYS fails to move the plot forward (largely because there is no plot to move), and where the blogger (me) supports every ridiculous point with three examples separated by commas. This last thing, I promise you, I will do AT LEAST ONCE in every paragraph.
[Applause.]
My friends, if a Tolstoy novel is the tumble dryer of language, then my blog is the lint trap. It is a place to collect the stuff that clings uselessly to the useful (but damp) stuff, a place to use annoying acronyms like LOL and BOM and BYOB, and thirdly in this list of THREE SUPPORTING EXAMPLES, a blog is a place to use bad metaphors without shame, particularly those which compare the literary arts to common household clothes-drying appliances. Oh, hell, I don’t even know if that dryer bit WAS a metaphor, and I don’t care, because, dammit, I’m a blogger! Yeah!
[More applause.]
Settle down now and pay attention. I want to tell you (in excruciating detail) about my formative years. Long ago, before my hair fell out, I was a boy without a blog, a boy scratching boring stories into the dirt with a pointed stick. . . .
June 19th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
All of this reminds me that I must do my laundry.
N
June 19th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Squirrel,
Do you think that had you not taken up blogging that perhaps your hair would not have fallen out?
Or perhaps if you had taken up blogging at an earlier age that no hair would have fallen out?
Or rather if your hair hadn’t fallen out you would have never blogged in your entire life?
I’ve posted all of this with the use of only one comma and that was after the name of the Great and Powerful Squirrel.
N
June 19th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I am very glad to be reading something new and interesting in addition to knee slappin’ funny! (again)
June 22nd, 2008 at 11:23 am
Hey ladies! If (when) the line to the restroom is too long, you need one of these
http://www.thebrowncorporation.com/pages/returns-policy
June 22nd, 2008 at 7:27 pm
OMG Jr. at first I thought it was a joke but heck no its real. ICKKKKK!!!
At the bottom of the webpages it says “Now wash your hands”, but I rather feel like I need to wash out my eyes.
June 25th, 2008 at 8:25 am
got to be careful with the spring-load pop-up poo box.
June 25th, 2008 at 8:27 am
shit flying everywhere.
Very messy.