Dating science
According to Scientists at the International Institute of Dating, when a lady meets a squirrel, she makes irreversible decisions about his date-worthiness within the first seven seconds.
Just my luck. I don’t hit my stride until at least the eight or nine second mark.
June 15th, 2005 at 2:46 pm
Boss -
What are you doing in seconds eight and nine that you are not doing in seconds one thru seven?
Can you speed it up?
June 15th, 2005 at 2:50 pm
You’ve been looking for fast women, haven’t you?
Slow women might give you an extra four or five seconds.
Just trying to be helpful.
June 15th, 2005 at 3:27 pm
The way is see it I have two options
1. Become a 7 second squirrel
2. Find a 9 second woman
June 15th, 2005 at 3:39 pm
Anyone have the recipe for seven second squirrel?
June 15th, 2005 at 4:24 pm
Mr. Squirrel,
Be on the lookout for women wearing these:
http://img1.yoxio.com/img/174376.jpg
They are $14 here:
http://www.naughtysecretaryclub.com/earrings/nostalgicnotions.shtml
June 15th, 2005 at 4:27 pm
LMAO:
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Schlessinger2.html
What color squirrel were you, again?
June 15th, 2005 at 5:58 pm
Sire, if I might speak freely here.
After reading Scott’s posting of Dr. Schlessinger’s article it has become clearer to me than ever before. YOU Sire are not the problem. The problem lies with the female squirrel. Your libido is healthy and normal but the limited interest of the female squirrel in the sexual liason causes you to hunt and hunt and hunt for that special someone. What are the odds that you will hit the target when the opportunity presents itself but once each year on an unspecified day for six hours or less.
Do not give up Sire! It is not you. It IS the female squirrel. That’s why you’re not having any Sire. I just knew that no one could resist your wild squirrel musk, that generous physique, and that squirrel charm. So brush the idea of your 9 second aquired squirrel stride from your mind.
June 16th, 2005 at 8:37 am
Hmm, maybe I should set my sights on human females. Are human females in the mood more than six hours per year?
June 16th, 2005 at 9:34 am
Not clear, is this an official sex poll?
or are you talking to yourself?
June 16th, 2005 at 5:46 pm
Sire, I am but the lowly chipmunk so I have not the perspective to speak for the female human; but, I do believe they would be fool-hearty to dismiss such an activity.
What do you think Sire Squirrel? What are your thoughts on the subject?
June 16th, 2005 at 10:43 pm
My thoughts? Hmm, I don’t think I’m having thoughts. I think I’ll sleep. Yes, yes. Off I go.
June 17th, 2005 at 6:02 am
Playing it safe Sire. Smart move. That is the reason why you are king.
Also, Good morning and have a good day. Today should be far more comfortable for all of us.
Good morning Miss Rosalind, School Marm, Scott and the many others.
Have a wonderful day!
June 17th, 2005 at 10:48 am
Not too cold. Not to hot. Looks like we’ve got ourselves a Goldilocks day.
June 17th, 2005 at 9:52 pm
Oh (nervous giggle) Mr. Squirrel, as a youngin’ I truly enjoyed the tale of Goldilocks.
I’d love to hear your version one day soon. No one knows there way around tale like you do Mr. Squirrel.
June 17th, 2005 at 9:53 pm
Excuse me, it should read “their way”.
March 18th, 2010 at 5:16 pm
Don’t have money to buy a house? You not have to worry, because it is available to receive the loans to resolve such problems. Thence get a consolidation loan to buy all you want.