Portrait of the artist with a curling iron
Friday, June 29th, 2007A voltage surge in a Prague hotel room destroyed a photographic masterpiece yesterday. The photograph, titled “Bald Man Using a Curling Iron in the Mardi Gras Club Dressing Room,” was the groundbreaking work of photo-musicologist Robert d’Jayspoz. It was widely regarded as the finest example of modern American cellphone photography.
“The Bald Man” toured extensively this spring, receiving accolades in art salons from Western Massachusetts to Eastern Europe. Wherever it was shown, exhibit-goers asked, “Who is this enigmatic bald man? Did he borrow the curling iron from one of the naked women seated at his makeup table? Does he look drunk, or is it just me? Why does a bald man need a curling iron, anyway?” Exhibit-goers asked these questions because great art inspires ordinary people to ask extraordinary questions . . . four extraordinary questions, to be exact.
Although “The Bald Man” won great popular and critical acclaim, a handful of critics remained stubbornly unimpressed. Pierre du Grandpantaloon, art critic for Le Journal Damné, wrote, “It was thoughtful of the artist to display his photograph on a tiny cellphone screen. The smaller this picture is, the better it looks.” Rolf von Rübe of Decorative Times Deutschland was equally harsh. He said, “The portrait of the bald man speaks poignantly of the human condition. It says, ‘this human is in a drunken condition.’”
“Bald Man Using a Curling Iron in the Mardi Gras Club Dressing Room” was scheduled to return to the United States this week. After closing the show in Prague, there was to be a brief Photo Display Phone (PDP) recharge period, and then a big Finnish finish in Finland. But things did not go as planned. Last Monday, in Room 162 of the Hotel Ambassador Prague, the unthinkable happened. While preparing for a night out in Wenceslas Square, the curator of the “Bald Man” exhibit plugged a 12 zillion watt American hairdryer and the PDP into adjacent 220v European wall sockets. The result was disastrous. The hairdryer, the phone and a nearby mini-bar were all reduced to smoldering lumps of metal and plastic.
On top of all that, the curator had to go outside with wet hair. It was a bummer for all concerned. At press time, Mr. d’Jayspoz could not be reached comment. No re-shoot is scheduled at this time.
